blah blah blah

I don't feel good today. I think my stomach is getting messed up because I have taken too much Advil to stave off the effects of not getting enough sleep. I also think I need to start taking a vitamin with Vitamin D in it. My tissue hurts. And I read that 80% of people who are diagnosed with fibromyaliga have a Vitamin D deficiency and when they get their levels up to a healthy number, their symptoms all but evaporate.
I am watching pairs ice skating at the olympics right now. It is so beautiful. It reminds me of when I was a little girl, and I would be so inspired after watching them, that I would pretend I was at the olympics. And now my Abbe does the same thing. It is so sweet to watch her, and kind of understand how she is feeling.
Tomorrow I get to pick up my new to me van. I am excited. Appolonia, our green van, was really scary on the way to church today. The transmission is kind of iffy, and it took until I got to Devils head for it to shift out of first gear. I am thankful that God has protected us until we could afford a different vehicle.
Well, I have some more laundry to do, then I need to make sure I have everything together for tomorrow, and then I will get to bed.
Ta Ta for now!

College

I am doing really well in college. Right now I am getting an A in English and a B+ in Philosophy. I am really proud of myself. I was a little nervous that maybe I thought I was smarter than I actually was, but I am glad to know, that when I apply myself, I am sharper than ever! Sorry, I know this is really braggy, but I'm psyched!

Tonight I went with Abbe and Luke to their 4-H clubs family potluck night. We had a nice time. I am thankful for 4-H. Right now the kids are quite young, but as they get older, the things they are learning will be so important. Abbe still is not sure what she wants to focus on. Well, she wants to do animals, but I am not sure I have it in me to encourage her, knowing all that goes into showing animals. I would rather she take up photography. Or archery. Or sewing, knitting, crocheting, canning, etc. Luke is still a cloverbud, so he is not really focusing on much yet.

Next Friday the kids and I are going to the Milwaukee Public Museum to see an exhibit of the Dead Sea Scrolls. I am really excited about that. We have been able to see some really awesome stuff there. Luke calls them the Dead Sea Squirrels. That about melts my heart away, but not as much as hearing him softly singing himself to sleep at night. I often wonder, why did God choose to bless me with such sweet children? I certainly deserve really bratty kids, seeing as how bratty I was as a kid. But I am thankful He did not do tit for tat. He extends his Grace to me. That is the Sunday School class I am taking now. We are starting in Genesis, and going all the way through the entire bible, looking at all the examples of His grace.

I hardly see Issa and Emma anymore. They are all grown up and busy. I guess that is to be expected. It is impossible to me that my little girls, who loved to play with their plastic animals, are now grown, and dreaming of their futures. Their not too distant futures. I pray that they will make good, thoughtful decisions. I know my attempts to shelter them from the awfulness of the world failed miserably. That breaks my heart. I want good things for them. I pray that God would bless them, and keep them, and make His face shine upon them, and give them peace. I pray that they would know Him well, and would not be afraid to submit their lives to Him. I pray this for all the kids, but especially for my Winky Bean and Bunny. Thank you Jesus for loving them.

life

Maya Angelou knows why the caged bird sings. I don't. I don't like cages. I want freedom. I need freedom. I am trying to learn how to be free. Sadly, despite all the desire there, I really lack the skills necessary for a free and peaceful life. It is like I have a deficit in this area of life. Like I never learned it. But, the good news is, I have recognized this, and I am putting one foot in front of the other. I am determined. If I fail, I will stand back up, wipe off the debris, and try some more. Because, the alternative is reprehensible. For my children, and for myself, I must succeed.

Luke's Night before Christmas

Luke is in the middle in the back row in the green striped sweater swaying kinetically.

Abbe and the "Ragtime Holiday"

Abbe is the one in the pink sweater on the right side front.

Heavenly Grass

My feet took a walk in heavenly grass.

All day while the sky shone clear as glass.

My feet took a walk in heavenly grass,

All night while the lonesome stars rolled past.

Then my feet come down to walk on earth,

And my mother cried when she give me birth.

Now my feet walk far and my feet walk fast,

But they still got an itch for heavenly grass.

But they still got an itch for heavenly grass.

Tennessee Williams