THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!

Why God is so good to me, I do not know. I PASSED MATH! I got a C! I have NEVER been so excited about a C before, but I am ECSTATIC about this one! I do not EVER, EVER, EVER have to take algebra again! YAHOOOOOOO!!!!!! I am sooooo happy about this, I can hardly contain myself. I had a solid C semester. Nothing to write home about. Nothing I am proud of. But, I passed even though I was completely burned out and apathetic. I know after having a summer off I will be ready to hit the books full throttle come Fall. Passing has completely re-invigorated me. Shwew! I am so happy and relieved. : )

Tonja

:/

Well, it is official. I have lost it. I mean, like, for real. I think I have had a real live honest to goodness mini nervous breakdown. I cannot handle this anymore. Thankfully, I don't have to for a while. I did not have a good semester. I am almost positive I got a D in algebra, and that means I have to take it again. grrrrr! I don't have the time nor the money for that. I am a math IDIOT I tell you, and it is so frustrating, because I feel like I am an intelligent, capable woman who can do anything I put my mind to. But apparently that does not include math. I really didn't do well in any of the classes I had the second part of the semester. I don't know. I kind of stopped caring and I HATE that! I am feeling very discouraged. Like I should just cut my losses and move on with my tail between my legs. I am so stressed, I just don't even know what to do. No school for 3 months, (at least). That should help. I hope. I am done. No more school. I should feel JUBILANT. But I feel like going in a dark room and BAWLING my eyes out. And SCREAMING until I can't anymore. I am feeling disillusioned, and SO MAD at myself for being such a loser. I should be able to do this, WELL. I should. But I can't. and I hate that.

Contentment

I am feeling so oddly happy and content today. I am not sure why. It is cloudy but I see beauty in it. My car cost a lot of money to fix, but I am happy that it is fixed. I wish I knew what has caused this. I love feeling this way...I love this outlook I have on life. I want it to stay this way! It should be something I have control of, but somehow, I think I don't. I feel a little bit like I am looking at the world through Jesus' eyes, and I like it!

Does this post sound like I am on some heavy drugs? Does it sound sarcastic? It isn't. I am honestly, earnestly feeling this way. : )

Tonja