Monday, January 11, 2010

Tonight I went with Abbe and Luke to their 4-H clubs family potluck night. We had a nice time. I am thankful for 4-H. Right now the kids are quite young, but as they get older, the things they are learning will be so important. Abbe still is not sure what she wants to focus on. Well, she wants to do animals, but I am not sure I have it in me to encourage her, knowing all that goes into showing animals. I would rather she take up photography. Or archery. Or sewing, knitting, crocheting, canning, etc. Luke is still a cloverbud, so he is not really focusing on much yet.

Next Friday the kids and I are going to the Milwaukee Public Museum to see an exhibit of the Dead Sea Scrolls. I am really excited about that. We have been able to see some really awesome stuff there. Luke calls them the Dead Sea Squirrels. That about melts my heart away, but not as much as hearing him softly singing himself to sleep at night. I often wonder, why did God choose to bless me with such sweet children? I certainly deserve really bratty kids, seeing as how bratty I was as a kid. But I am thankful He did not do tit for tat. He extends his Grace to me. That is the Sunday School class I am taking now. We are starting in Genesis, and going all the way through the entire bible, looking at all the examples of His grace.

I hardly see Issa and Emma anymore. They are all grown up and busy. I guess that is to be expected. It is impossible to me that my little girls, who loved to play with their plastic animals, are now grown, and dreaming of their futures. Their not too distant futures. I pray that they will make good, thoughtful decisions. I know my attempts to shelter them from the awfulness of the world failed miserably. That breaks my heart. I want good things for them. I pray that God would bless them, and keep them, and make His face shine upon them, and give them peace. I pray that they would know Him well, and would not be afraid to submit their lives to Him. I pray this for all the kids, but especially for my Winky Bean and Bunny. Thank you Jesus for loving them.


Saturday, January 9, 2010

life

Maya Angelou knows why the caged bird sings. I don't. I don't like cages. I want freedom. I need freedom. I am trying to learn how to be free. Sadly, despite all the desire there, I really lack the skills necessary for a free and peaceful life. It is like I have a deficit in this area of life. Like I never learned it. But, the good news is, I have recognized this, and I am putting one foot in front of the other. I am determined. If I fail, I will stand back up, wipe off the debris, and try some more. Because, the alternative is reprehensible. For my children, and for myself, I must succeed.