Friday, December 12, 2008

I am sitting here, trying to sort through my thoughts in order to write something witty, or deep, or interesting, but alas, I don't think I will be able to be any of those things. I am in a bit of a melancholy mood. On one hand, I feel so thankful for my nice warm home, the beautiful snow, my beautiful children, this blessed season. On the other hand, I am fighting against restlessness. I keep wanting things to be different. Better. But I cannot let these days that I do have slip away while I hope for a better time. I have done that far too much all ready. I am having merry-go-round thoughts. I need to do laundry. And finish my Christmas shopping list. And find some recipes for Will's Christmas party that we are going to tomorrow. And cook supper. And wrap presents. And so on and so on and so on. And I get paralyzed. I just don't know where to start. This has been a longstanding problem. I basically end up doing nothing until something becomes a crisis. I guess if I make a list and try to prioritize things that would help, maybe? I will go try it. But honestly, I am not holding out much hope. I have to actually LOOK at the list in order to remember I made one in the first place...

Love, Tonja