Well, DUH!

I know this is not exactly news, but I just have to put in writing how much I love my family.  You know, God is really awesome the way he put me with a family who is just perfect for me.  I am so blessed.  I do not deserve them.  But I am so thankful for them. 

Stressed Out.

Nobody gets a nervous breakdown or a heart attack from selling kerosene to gentle country folk from the back of a tanker in Somerset.
 ~ Roald Dahl
         I guess maybe I should switch careers....Kerosene sales.  Hmmmm.....

soooooo....

Something that has never happened to me has happened to me.  And that something is that I am getting an A in math.  After two whole weeks, a bunch of homework, and two quizzes.  Still...I am getting an A.  It is statistics.  I keep thinking I must be missing something, but, I don't know.  I kind of "get" this stuff!  I did not say I liked it, but I get it.  I am nearly positive this won't last the whole semester long, but I am going to try.  If I end up with an A in a math course as a final grade...I don't know.  It could change the world.

Tonja

some new summer pics

Abbe's 11th Birthday Party

Abbe's 11th Birthday party

                                                       

 Abbe and Luke on the caboose!

Issa and Austin on the jet ski at the lake July 4th

Issa and Teddy on the boat at the lake.

Some of the Moteberg's

 Luke and I on the train

Will and the kids

Another Poem

To a Friend by Amy Lowell

I ask but one thing of you, only one,
That always you will be my dream of you;
That never shall I wake to find untrue
All this I have believed and rested on,
Forever vanished, like a vision gone
Out into the night. Alas, how few
There are who strike in us a chord we knew
Existed, but so seldom heard its tone
We tremble at the half-forgotten sound.
The world is full of rude awakenings
And heaven-born castles shattered to the ground,
Yet still our human longing vainly clings
To a belief in beauty through all wrongs.
O stay your hand, and leave my heart its songs!

****WARNING: Not for the faint of heart****

So, Tuesday evening I was sitting here at my dining room table, perusing the internet and I noticed my kitty Glen staring intently out the window as he often does when there are birds out there. He wasn't chattering though, as he usually does when birds are out there, and he was sitting so very tall and he was really tense. I said to him "Glen, you turdle. Leave those birdies alone." He did not even glance at me. So, curiosity got the better of me and I got up to see what kind of bird had him in such an intense mood. BIG MISTAKE. What I saw haunts me. I saw the last 12" of a snake tail going between the slats on my deck. A SNAKE WAS ON MY DECK!!!!!! And it was not a little garter snake. No...it was a rather LARGE (it was at least the size of a silver dollar wide) and brown. I think it was a corn snake, but I could be wrong. I am not going to go google it because I would end up smashing my computer at its sight. So I learned some very important lessons.

1. Ignorance TRULY is bliss.
2. I should not concern myself with what my cats are looking at.
3. Curiosity does not kill cats, but it does FREAK THE CRAP out of a cats owner.

hi

Its just me. Feeling my usual melancholy self. When did I get to be such a moody mcmooderson? Maybe I have always been, but was just blissfully unaware? Hard to say. Today was a really weird day. Weather wise, it was not hot but was unbearably humid. A very strange combination. Work wise, well....I worked almost 12 hours today. Shwew! And for some reason I could not sleep last night. It was one of those weird nights when you are definitely not sleeping, but are not exactly awake. I would lay there in that state, and check the clock, and it was 15 minutes. Then I would do all my little tricks to try to fall asleep, check the clock again, and whaddya know? 15 minutes had passed. I hope I fall asleep quickly tonight and stay that way. The kids start summer school tomorrow. And....I am completely neutral about that. I think my funk is that I was not ready to go back to work. I NEED MORE TIME! There just isn't enough time for all that I need/should/want to do. Not nearly enough. I made some good memories with the kids. I am thankful for that. But I was in a constant war between "Hurry up and get stuff done...you don't have much time!" and "Don't do anything! Relax! You don't have much time!" Sometimes the voice in my head is REALLY annoying.

Don't make any phone calls to psychiatrists or state hospitals. I am okay. This is my therapy. You don't have to read it if it freaks you out. ; )

Tonja

Abbe's 5th Grade graduation and some pics

Below is the video of Abbe graduation from MCCS.






This is a picture of the 13 5th graders. Only 7 of them were there
since Kindegarten.


Abbe and her best friends: Jackie, Hunter and Cat.



A nice close up of my Luke.




Issa on the lifeguard chair at the zoo.



Emma, kneeling in the sand.

Letting go

Children are Like Kites

You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground.
You run with them until you are both breathless.
They crash. They hit the rooftop.
You patch and comfort, adjust and teach.
You watch them lifted by the wind and assure them that
someday, they will fly.
Finally, they are airborne;
They need more string and you keep letting it out;
But with each twist of the ball of twine,
There is a sadness that goes with joy.
The kite becomes more distant and you know it won't be long before that
beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that binds you two together and
will soar, free and alone.
Only then do you know that you did your job.

by Erma Bombeck

THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!

Why God is so good to me, I do not know. I PASSED MATH! I got a C! I have NEVER been so excited about a C before, but I am ECSTATIC about this one! I do not EVER, EVER, EVER have to take algebra again! YAHOOOOOOO!!!!!! I am sooooo happy about this, I can hardly contain myself. I had a solid C semester. Nothing to write home about. Nothing I am proud of. But, I passed even though I was completely burned out and apathetic. I know after having a summer off I will be ready to hit the books full throttle come Fall. Passing has completely re-invigorated me. Shwew! I am so happy and relieved. : )

Tonja

:/

Well, it is official. I have lost it. I mean, like, for real. I think I have had a real live honest to goodness mini nervous breakdown. I cannot handle this anymore. Thankfully, I don't have to for a while. I did not have a good semester. I am almost positive I got a D in algebra, and that means I have to take it again. grrrrr! I don't have the time nor the money for that. I am a math IDIOT I tell you, and it is so frustrating, because I feel like I am an intelligent, capable woman who can do anything I put my mind to. But apparently that does not include math. I really didn't do well in any of the classes I had the second part of the semester. I don't know. I kind of stopped caring and I HATE that! I am feeling very discouraged. Like I should just cut my losses and move on with my tail between my legs. I am so stressed, I just don't even know what to do. No school for 3 months, (at least). That should help. I hope. I am done. No more school. I should feel JUBILANT. But I feel like going in a dark room and BAWLING my eyes out. And SCREAMING until I can't anymore. I am feeling disillusioned, and SO MAD at myself for being such a loser. I should be able to do this, WELL. I should. But I can't. and I hate that.

Contentment

I am feeling so oddly happy and content today. I am not sure why. It is cloudy but I see beauty in it. My car cost a lot of money to fix, but I am happy that it is fixed. I wish I knew what has caused this. I love feeling this way...I love this outlook I have on life. I want it to stay this way! It should be something I have control of, but somehow, I think I don't. I feel a little bit like I am looking at the world through Jesus' eyes, and I like it!

Does this post sound like I am on some heavy drugs? Does it sound sarcastic? It isn't. I am honestly, earnestly feeling this way. : )

Tonja

My Kids

Aren't they just the best?
I love this picture. I had to work and Issa and Emma brought Abbe and Luke to the zoo. They must have asked someone to take this picture, and I am so glad they did. I just love this picture.

I am feeling so blessed.

Tonja

This is a video of Abbe and the MCCS 5th Grade Basketball team. : )

Tonja