THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!

Why God is so good to me, I do not know. I PASSED MATH! I got a C! I have NEVER been so excited about a C before, but I am ECSTATIC about this one! I do not EVER, EVER, EVER have to take algebra again! YAHOOOOOOO!!!!!! I am sooooo happy about this, I can hardly contain myself. I had a solid C semester. Nothing to write home about. Nothing I am proud of. But, I passed even though I was completely burned out and apathetic. I know after having a summer off I will be ready to hit the books full throttle come Fall. Passing has completely re-invigorated me. Shwew! I am so happy and relieved. : )

Tonja

:/

Well, it is official. I have lost it. I mean, like, for real. I think I have had a real live honest to goodness mini nervous breakdown. I cannot handle this anymore. Thankfully, I don't have to for a while. I did not have a good semester. I am almost positive I got a D in algebra, and that means I have to take it again. grrrrr! I don't have the time nor the money for that. I am a math IDIOT I tell you, and it is so frustrating, because I feel like I am an intelligent, capable woman who can do anything I put my mind to. But apparently that does not include math. I really didn't do well in any of the classes I had the second part of the semester. I don't know. I kind of stopped caring and I HATE that! I am feeling very discouraged. Like I should just cut my losses and move on with my tail between my legs. I am so stressed, I just don't even know what to do. No school for 3 months, (at least). That should help. I hope. I am done. No more school. I should feel JUBILANT. But I feel like going in a dark room and BAWLING my eyes out. And SCREAMING until I can't anymore. I am feeling disillusioned, and SO MAD at myself for being such a loser. I should be able to do this, WELL. I should. But I can't. and I hate that.

Contentment

I am feeling so oddly happy and content today. I am not sure why. It is cloudy but I see beauty in it. My car cost a lot of money to fix, but I am happy that it is fixed. I wish I knew what has caused this. I love feeling this way...I love this outlook I have on life. I want it to stay this way! It should be something I have control of, but somehow, I think I don't. I feel a little bit like I am looking at the world through Jesus' eyes, and I like it!

Does this post sound like I am on some heavy drugs? Does it sound sarcastic? It isn't. I am honestly, earnestly feeling this way. : )

Tonja

My Kids

Aren't they just the best?
I love this picture. I had to work and Issa and Emma brought Abbe and Luke to the zoo. They must have asked someone to take this picture, and I am so glad they did. I just love this picture.

I am feeling so blessed.

Tonja

This is a video of Abbe and the MCCS 5th Grade Basketball team. : )

Tonja

: ) ....(That is a forced smile)

Hi. Every thing is great. I am not stressed. I love working full time and going to school. The challenge of it all is so very invigorating. In no way do I wish I had a nice big break from school right now. I think it is awesome how little sleep I get and how used to it I have gotten. This post reminds me of being a teenager when I would tell myself how I loved the feeling of my stomach digesting itself - it felt good. I am a little warped around the edges. I don't want to complain, but I want to express, so I go a little sarcastic sometimes. I am sick about the Vikings. I am happy about the elections. I feel strange going through the transition of Issa and Emma growing up. I am excited for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I am not excited for cold weather. I very much feel like decorating, but when? And with what $? I am glad that Emma has a good job. I am hopeful Issa will have one soon. I do not like the smell of cat poop. I love the smells of fall. I love my family. I am thankful for my nice warm home. I am grateful for the job I have. I am blessed to have the ability to go to college on line. My animals are cute. My hair is not cute right now. But I have hair, so that's good.

Tidbits....FROM Tonja. : ) (That was not a forced smile.)

phhhlpfffffttttt!

What a night. I spent 2 hours at Urgent Care because Luke fell off the monkey bars. He said it really really hurt. All it was is the wind was knocked out of him, and I KNEW that, but I kept thinking, "what if I am wrong? What if he has a punctured lung, or a cracked vertebrae?" Of course he did not. And all Abbe did the whole time is complain because she was bored and hungry. And then the Vikes lost. And, I just feel like Eyeore. I've got a little rain cloud hovering over my head. I guess that means I should get to bed. Oh, and this is the second Monday in a row I have spent my evening at Urgent Care. Last week it was for Abbe who fell off a skateboard and landed on her hand. Again, my mom instinct said it was fine, but she complained loudly, so against my better judgment I went. I know being sure your child is not seriously injured is not exactly a waste of time, but when a person has as busy a life as I do, it sure does feel like it. Good night.

Harrumph.

Tonja