Pure Joy

For the first time, this past Christmas, I bought Advent calendars for Abbe and Luke.  Just cheap little cardboard ones from World Market.  Each night they would open their little window, eat their chocolate, and snuggle in my bed with me as I read a few of the Christmas books I have collected.  EVERY NIGHT.  You who know me well must know what an amazing feat this is.  It was WONDERFUL and all three of us looked forward to it every night.  Then, Christmas was here, and the calendars were empty, and we went back to the old way of doing things.  And...we all missed it.  And...I got really convicted.  These precious, beautiful, amazing children are a GIFT!  I had BETTER be able to put aside a half hour a day to spend with them.  So, on Sunday I picked up a devotion a day book from my churches library, and we started our nighttime reading/snuggle routine again.  And tonight, my precious son asked me to pray with him to ask Jesus in his heart.  And then he asked if besides reading the devotional book, if I would read at least one page of the Bible with him each night.  My heart is overflowing with joy.  Abbe, too, has been profoundly effected by this.  One of the devotions talked about prayer and about how when we pray it is just like talking to a friend, and that Jesus really is our best friend and will never leave us.  Abbe has has some mixed feelings about moving, but the other night when I tucked her in after our devotion time, she said "even if all my friends here forget me, and I don't make any new friends in Minnesota, I know that I will always have at least one friend".  I said, "and who would that be?"  She replied "God".  Thank you Lord for the Super Strength Miracle Grow you are using on me and my children.

What is wrong with me?

On Sunday, at church, the Moody Symphonic band was there, and they led our worship.  It was really beautiful.  Toward the end, they had the congregation join them in the hymn "How Great Thou Art".  I started sobbing.  So hard.  I had to bury my face in my hands so I wouldn't make those around me uncomfortable.  Why?  Because I cannot hear that song without hearing my daddy's bass voice singing right next to me.  And that hurts so bad.  It makes me miss him so acutely...Then today, my mom sent me an email reminding me to send a card to my dad's twin brother Lyle because Saturday is his 70th birthday.  I did send him a card.  I am really happy to do so, but...I HATE that I can't celebrate my dad's 70th birthday with him.  In March, he will have been gone for 10 years.  A decade.  But I can't let him go.  I just can't.  I still miss him.  I still want to wake up and find out it has just been a bad dream.  When I go to MN, I want him to be sitting in his chair and see his face turn into one big smile at the sight of his grandkids.  I want to hug him, and feel his hug right back.  I want to tell him that if I sat down and tried to imagine the best dad in the world, I could never have even imagined someone as wonderful as he is.  I want to tell him that life on Earth was a million times better when he was here.  I know I will see him again.  I long for that day.

Well, DUH!

I know this is not exactly news, but I just have to put in writing how much I love my family.  You know, God is really awesome the way he put me with a family who is just perfect for me.  I am so blessed.  I do not deserve them.  But I am so thankful for them. 

Stressed Out.

Nobody gets a nervous breakdown or a heart attack from selling kerosene to gentle country folk from the back of a tanker in Somerset.
 ~ Roald Dahl
         I guess maybe I should switch careers....Kerosene sales.  Hmmmm.....

soooooo....

Something that has never happened to me has happened to me.  And that something is that I am getting an A in math.  After two whole weeks, a bunch of homework, and two quizzes.  Still...I am getting an A.  It is statistics.  I keep thinking I must be missing something, but, I don't know.  I kind of "get" this stuff!  I did not say I liked it, but I get it.  I am nearly positive this won't last the whole semester long, but I am going to try.  If I end up with an A in a math course as a final grade...I don't know.  It could change the world.

Tonja

some new summer pics

Abbe's 11th Birthday Party

Abbe's 11th Birthday party

                                                       

 Abbe and Luke on the caboose!

Issa and Austin on the jet ski at the lake July 4th

Issa and Teddy on the boat at the lake.

Some of the Moteberg's

 Luke and I on the train

Will and the kids

Another Poem

To a Friend by Amy Lowell

I ask but one thing of you, only one,
That always you will be my dream of you;
That never shall I wake to find untrue
All this I have believed and rested on,
Forever vanished, like a vision gone
Out into the night. Alas, how few
There are who strike in us a chord we knew
Existed, but so seldom heard its tone
We tremble at the half-forgotten sound.
The world is full of rude awakenings
And heaven-born castles shattered to the ground,
Yet still our human longing vainly clings
To a belief in beauty through all wrongs.
O stay your hand, and leave my heart its songs!